It's that time of year again. Time when we make New Year's resolutions. Here's a resolution for you. Resolve to stop fixing yourself and concentrate instead on finding your true self.
The fundamental reason why most New Year's resolutions are recipes for failure is contained in the word "resolve." To "resolve" is to "re-solve." In other words, it is an effort to once again attempt to "solve" a problem. This is why most "re-solutions" fail. You couldn't solve the problem the last time. Why will you be able to solve it this time$%: What has changed since the last time you promised to "re-solve" the same old problems$%:
We've all heard Einstein's definition of insanity: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Yet, each year many of us resolve to "re-solve" the same old problems using the same old methods that didn't work the last time. And what are these same old methods$%: Determination, willpower, and resolve. Notice that. We decide that we will "solve" these unwanted problems by being "resolved" and "resolute."
For instance:
One of the most significant ideas I have ever learned is the difference between "problem-solving" and "creation." By definition, problem-solving is an effort to make something go away that you do not want in your life. Creation is an effort to love something into existence that does not currently exist.
We are so conditioned to identify ourselves as problems to be solved. We are masters at finding problems in our lives that need to be fixed. We "resolutely" identify character flaws that we want to make go away.
This is the "problem" with treating yourself as a problem. Who loves having a problem$%: Who loves being a problem$%: Who loves being in debt, being overweight, being disorganized$%: The answer is: No one. Yet, typical New Year's resolutions require you to fix what you don't love about yourself. And so you put your energy and your attention into fixing what you couldn't fix the last time you tried.
Certain samples:
I am convinced that the single most important missing piece in our efforts to create the lives we would love to live-the one thing that is most "wrong" with each of us-is that we don't know what is right with us. Notice how many "re-solutions" are renovation projects. In truth, you are not a project in need of repair. You are not a problem to be solved.
Concentrate instead of finding out what is right with you. Let's start with your capacity to create. Nothing is more unique than this, and more uniquely human. Some animals use tools and build objects, such as dams and nests. But only human beings are true creators. People have the capacity to imagine beyond what now exists. People can create what they love.
And here, our language confuses matters. Success requires "resolve," but it is a different kind of "resolve" than the effort to "re-solve" problems. Success "resolve" involves a firm decision to act. Success "resolve" sets creators apart from problem "re-solvers." The most powerful "resolution" you can make is to "resolve" to stop trying to fix yourself and to find your true identity as the creator of your life.
The most critical idea beneath this newsletter is that each of us is happiest when we are most uniquely ourselves. And we are most uniquely ourselves when we put our time, energy, and focus on creating what we love.
There is a world of difference between starting with the problem and starting with the outcome. In each case, you really do have a goal in mind. You want your body to be at its ideal weight. You want to be financially free. You want to be organized. Yet, with typical problem-solving "re-solutions," the tendency is to start with the problem rather than the outcome.
The most basic idea of success literature is that you get what you think about. In other words: What you focus on expands. Where your attention goes, energy flows. When you start with the problem, you are putting your focus on the problem, and not the desired outcome.
If you put your attention on solving the problem--being overweight, being in debt, being disorganized--you have not created a vision of the outcome. You are simply putting your attention on what you don't want. You have identified yourself as a problem to be solved, not as a creator who can create what you truly desire.
You really do have a choice. It all comes down to what kind of resolution you make. You can focus on your problems and resolve that this time, you will finally "solve" them. You tell yourself: This time, the diet will work. This time, I will get out of debt. This time, I will get my finances organized. Or you can decide to stop making such "re-solutions" that set you up for failure.
Imagine the difference if you resolve to live your life as a creator. With this type of resolve, you can create what you would love to have or be. You can create the life you would love to live. The difference comes from finding your true nature as a creator.
留言列表
